how it really happened.

• boy approaches mother
• boy smacks mother in the back of the head
• mother chases boy
• mother flicks boy until he laughs so hard he almost pees
• boy runs away
• mother chases boy
• boy hides
• mother gives up on looking
• boy returns wielding laundry hamper as protection from further flicking
• mother trips boy
• boy and mother laugh
• boy runs away
• mother accuses boy of being a sissy la la
• boy denies being a sissy la la and smacks mother
• mother chases boy
• boy chases mother
• mother chases boy
• mother catches boy
• mother asks boy if he's done being a pest
• boy says yes
• boy continues being a pest
• mother tickles boy until he can't breathe
• boy runs away
• mother writes blog

Get Help

Hi.

So, there's this commercial. It's advertising some kind of help line for people with gambling problems. It starts out with 3 women standing at a public bathroom counter, you can hear music, and they're all putting on lipstick and touching up. The first woman says "Can you believe her? Her kids are at home alone every night and she's always borrowing money and she knows she cant pay it back." (or something to that effect, I didn't memorize the commercial). the second woman makes a similar comment and the third woman says "actually, I was her, until I got help". That is when the first two woman say "You're kidding" and "But you look so normal" and leave the bathroom. The woman they were apparently talking about then comes out of the stall and says to the woman who got help "Can I talk to you?" - then the voice over gives you the toll free number and blah blah blah...

I have a few problems with this.

The first is: THEY'RE in the casino too! If they're always there to see that this woman is spending so much time in the casino, aren't they spending too much time there too?

Second: This woman who supposedly "got help"... I know I don't even need to say it... SHE'S in the casino too! wow. I don't even wan't to elaborate on that. But I will. If you are an addict, I don't care what you're addicted to, and you seek help - from professionals - they will tell you that ANY relapse is still a relapse. You don't see recovered alcoholics (ya, the ones who actually want to stay quit) casually visiting bars on the regular. NO. This is where the commercial lost all credibility for me.

Third: It's a crap commercial! I'm glad I don't have a gambling problem, and I'm sorry if you do. You never know, though, you might just meet a recovering gambler in your local casino's bathroom and get some advice over appletini's.

Seriously.

Alternative to parenting...

On my way to the bank I saw a man and a small child crossing the street. The child was wearing one of those kid leashes. Now, those always make for some good comedy. I know people love having choices and the ability to decline the alternative (alternative: actually being a parent and watching you kid) but in this case it was not the adult that was seemingly in charge of keeping track of the child. No, on the other end of the kid leash was the kid! That's right, the little boy who couldn't be more than 3 years old was leading himself with his monkey-face-cleverly-disguised-as-a-back-pack LEASH! ACROSS A CROSS WALK!!! A busy one, at that! (for my Bend friends, it was the intersection at 27th and HWY 20) By the time the two had crossed the street the small boy was walking a good 8 to 10 feet in front of the man. SOME PEOPLE SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO CARE FOR CHILDREN!!!! There were cars speeding by at 45 MPH and the little boy was just trotting along like he was at the park or something.... sheesh. I wanted to yell out the window "HOLD THAT KID'S HAND!!!!"

Logic

My four year old never ceases to amaze me. I know parents of small children always say that, and they always have some cute story to follow, and...well, this is no exception :)

Kaeden: "Mom, you want to watch this toony with me?" (cartoons)

Me: "I will in a minute, Kaeden, I have some things to do first."

Kaeden: "Watcha goin' do, Mom?"

Me: "Well, I'm going to clean up the kitchen, then I'm going to pay some bills..."
Kaeden: "What is 'pay bills'?"

Me: "I have to pay money to different people so we can have certain things. I have to pay the electricity bill so we can have lights. I have to pay the water bill so we can do dishes and take showers. And you know Mommy's cell phone? I have to pay a bill for that too."

Kaeden: "I think I need some bills so my cell phone will work. All of my cell phones are broken so pay some bills so I can have a work[ing] phone too."

He plays with a "toy" cell phone that was, at one time, an active, working cell phone. He pretends to "text his friends", he randomly picks it up and answers it, he even pretends to plug it in and charge it. He tells me all the time that he needs a cell phone of his own so, he says, he can call his Dad and his Grandma. I am not, in any way, even entertaining the idea of getting my four year old a cell phone. Let me repeat, KAEDEN IS NOT GETTING A CELL PHONE. But it begs the question: When will he be old enough for a cell phone? When I was, to sound old, 'coming of age' it wasn't until teens/young adults were nearly self-sufficient that they got a cell phone (or a pager!), but even then hardly ANYONE had one. Gradually I started noticing younger and younger KIDS getting their own phones - 17, 16, 15 years old. It was when I worked for a cell phone call center for 18 months that I actually talked to customers who had cell phones on their accounts for their 10 and 11 year olds! I wonder if, when Kaeden hits the pre-teen years, the acceptable age for a child to have a cell phone will have dropped even more! I know for sure that he will have one once he's driving. God forbid he take the car for a 10 minute trip and I don't hear from him for 15 minutes!! (lol) But I guess I am just trying to gauge how long I will have to listen to him whining at me "Moooooom, I want a cellll phoooone." (It's already started so.... 10 years?) I think right now he understands that he can ask all he wants, he's not getting one. But when he's 12 years old or so and all of his friends have cell phones what am I supposed to say? Is 11 too young? (remember, kids this age often have after school activities that they attend sans parents) Is 17 too old? I don't see us ever having a land line phone again so maybe when he's old enough to stay home alone. Now-a-days they have all kinds of nifty monitoring software that allows you to keep track of who they talk to, how long they talk, what time they're allowed to talk, etc.

Hmmm..... I guess it's something to think about for the future. I would hate to think that he's already half way to cell-phone-owning age. Yikes!

YAY :)

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The spider on the wall in my garage... Seconds before I sprayed it with ArmorAll.

Pretty much where I'm at right now.

Get ready heart. You're going to feel like you're going to die today. Yep, there, I said it. It's going to be painful.

Total Fitness here I come!

"The silence isn't so bad, 'til I look at my hands and feel sad, 'cause the spaces between my fingers are right where yours fit perfectly. I'll find repose in new ways, though I haven't slept in two days. 'Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone."

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand out!

She hates me. She always has. And now she thinks I'M the reason Lew (her favorite person) is gone. She has it out for me.

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